Social Media stuff and thoughts
Jul. 16th, 2017 08:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tari_rooOn a fairly regular basis, I wish English was a tad more Germanic in a 'has specific words for varying categories of the same object'. For example, the word 'friend'. Friend is such a broad, all encompassing word which covers a variety of relationships, level of intimacy and interaction. It can refer to an individual who you chat with on a regular basis on a social media platform but who you have never met and the girl you knew as a child, still occasionally see but with whom you hardly interact.
This post is about two 'friends' of mine and their behaviour on social media. I feel a need to capture my thoughts on paper as it were, as formulating my thoughts into the written word helps me categorize my feelings on the matter.
Friend 1. Here the word friend means: 'someone who was close friends with my sister at one point (they no longer really talk) and with whom I share a love of Star Trek and other sci fi and we chat when we bump into each other at church).
Friend 1 is married and has 3 somewhat adorable children. The somewhat stems from how she depicts them and her life on instagram and FB. On social media they are cute, adorable, sweet, well behaved, talented and splendid. Her life is wonderful, her children a ray of light and her husband does his best, loves her and the children.
In real life however her girls are spoiled terrorists who are undisciplined, wild and noisy (this is how she describes them). Her husband is long-suffering and browbeaten and friend 1 does nothing but complain about how awful life is. In truth, her children are not that bad but they are not ideal nor very bidable and they are a handful, her husband is doing his best and friend 1 is a tad dramatic.
She falls into the category of the mom who paints a very different, false picture of her life on social media but does not maintain the hypocrisy of it all when you talk face to face (which I find weird). I think she is unaware of the odd dichotomy of her social media life and reality.
Her behaviour led me to re-evaluate how I protray myself on social media.
Friend 2. Here the word friend means: 'a family friend with whom I have spent very little one on one time, but she is quite pleasant, enthusiastic and engaging and in the way of family friends I know a great about her life through my mother, other family friends etc. Much like a distant cousin.'
Friend 2 is newly married (one year anniversary approaching) and has a similar social media profile to Friend 1, bar that her posts do not involve children (yet) but focus on her hubby, their activities, how much she loves him, etc. (I try not to gag too much as they are a lovely couple). However, her life is not hypocritical. She is genuine in RL and social media. Her posts do not portray a false sense of the life she wishes she had. She is just a typical millennial.
Friend 2 prompts a different internal debate for me. The debate stems from her 21st birthday party and continues to this day. Her 21st birthday party theme was Native Americans. She loves Native Americans, their clothing, style, etc and she encouraged people to dress up, and she made herself a large head-dress with peacock feathers and other misc feathers. She's a pretty girl, gorgeous even. I remember staring at the pictures on FB with a vague sense of unease.
I'm aware of the debate around cultural appropriation and I do not have a firm opinion on all matters touched by the debate, but I know that Native Americans in particular take issue, continue to take issue and have serious justification for how their culture is treated by non-Native Americans.
Now Friend 2 is not American, she was not mocking the culture, merely appreciating it. For the first time however, I viewed that 'appreciation' with unease. It did not end with a 21st birthday party. Her wedding a few years later included dream catchers, another feather head-dress (white this time) and her bridesmaids wore very non-specific feather head-dresses. None of the items were specific to a particular Native American tribe, she was not wearing a fake war-bonnet, it was something she had created, and it came from a sense of love and appreciation. I still felt unease.
Then she took one step too far. She set up an etsy account and tried to start a little business where she would create dream catchers and head-dresses for weddings, and used pictures from her wedding to advertise it. My icks increased.
So far, a year later, I'm fairly certain she has had no orders or expressed interest as it's a weird niche market.
Here's my point: I know where my unease stems from. As mentioned I am aware of the debate on cultural appropriation and while I agree with many points, I don't think its as clear cut a matter as some people feel it is. Where I am clear though, is that some cultures, especially those cultures which they are still under oppression or attack have the right to be treated with respect that includes not being mocked, stolen from or degraded to fashion.
Based on my unease, I know that Friend 2's love of Native American culture and her love of head-dresses is borderline for me.
Here's what triggered some of these thoughts and this post:
This weekend on tumblr I saw the promo pics for the Black Panther characters and I felt the same unease, or rather a similar unease.
Wakanda is a fictional african state so there is no appropriation, yet as an African I recognised the cultural references in many of the outfits. Its very difficult to create a fictional culture without referencing real cultures, and African cultures interact, overlap and share common roots so its not impossible for Wakanda to share those roots.
So I pondered on my unease and why I felt it.
The promo pics are beautiful. The costumes incredible. Perhaps my unease comes from the lack of unity in the costumes, in that it references multiple, varied African cultures. Perhaps I'm just being silly.
Alas, I don't think writing this down has helped solidify any actual resolution, other than the realisation that you really need to think about what you chose to put out there on social media. Not just from a 'don't offend people or hide behind the keyboard to be hater/troll' but from a 'am I being sensitive to how this will be perceived.'
Or perhaps that is being overly critical and analytical and I'm too full of cold medicine (hehe)
In other news, my tumblr page is full of female doctors. Hurrah!
in other other news, I think I'm getting a cold. Poo.
This post is about two 'friends' of mine and their behaviour on social media. I feel a need to capture my thoughts on paper as it were, as formulating my thoughts into the written word helps me categorize my feelings on the matter.
Friend 1. Here the word friend means: 'someone who was close friends with my sister at one point (they no longer really talk) and with whom I share a love of Star Trek and other sci fi and we chat when we bump into each other at church).
Friend 1 is married and has 3 somewhat adorable children. The somewhat stems from how she depicts them and her life on instagram and FB. On social media they are cute, adorable, sweet, well behaved, talented and splendid. Her life is wonderful, her children a ray of light and her husband does his best, loves her and the children.
In real life however her girls are spoiled terrorists who are undisciplined, wild and noisy (this is how she describes them). Her husband is long-suffering and browbeaten and friend 1 does nothing but complain about how awful life is. In truth, her children are not that bad but they are not ideal nor very bidable and they are a handful, her husband is doing his best and friend 1 is a tad dramatic.
She falls into the category of the mom who paints a very different, false picture of her life on social media but does not maintain the hypocrisy of it all when you talk face to face (which I find weird). I think she is unaware of the odd dichotomy of her social media life and reality.
Her behaviour led me to re-evaluate how I protray myself on social media.
Friend 2. Here the word friend means: 'a family friend with whom I have spent very little one on one time, but she is quite pleasant, enthusiastic and engaging and in the way of family friends I know a great about her life through my mother, other family friends etc. Much like a distant cousin.'
Friend 2 is newly married (one year anniversary approaching) and has a similar social media profile to Friend 1, bar that her posts do not involve children (yet) but focus on her hubby, their activities, how much she loves him, etc. (I try not to gag too much as they are a lovely couple). However, her life is not hypocritical. She is genuine in RL and social media. Her posts do not portray a false sense of the life she wishes she had. She is just a typical millennial.
Friend 2 prompts a different internal debate for me. The debate stems from her 21st birthday party and continues to this day. Her 21st birthday party theme was Native Americans. She loves Native Americans, their clothing, style, etc and she encouraged people to dress up, and she made herself a large head-dress with peacock feathers and other misc feathers. She's a pretty girl, gorgeous even. I remember staring at the pictures on FB with a vague sense of unease.
I'm aware of the debate around cultural appropriation and I do not have a firm opinion on all matters touched by the debate, but I know that Native Americans in particular take issue, continue to take issue and have serious justification for how their culture is treated by non-Native Americans.
Now Friend 2 is not American, she was not mocking the culture, merely appreciating it. For the first time however, I viewed that 'appreciation' with unease. It did not end with a 21st birthday party. Her wedding a few years later included dream catchers, another feather head-dress (white this time) and her bridesmaids wore very non-specific feather head-dresses. None of the items were specific to a particular Native American tribe, she was not wearing a fake war-bonnet, it was something she had created, and it came from a sense of love and appreciation. I still felt unease.
Then she took one step too far. She set up an etsy account and tried to start a little business where she would create dream catchers and head-dresses for weddings, and used pictures from her wedding to advertise it. My icks increased.
So far, a year later, I'm fairly certain she has had no orders or expressed interest as it's a weird niche market.
Here's my point: I know where my unease stems from. As mentioned I am aware of the debate on cultural appropriation and while I agree with many points, I don't think its as clear cut a matter as some people feel it is. Where I am clear though, is that some cultures, especially those cultures which they are still under oppression or attack have the right to be treated with respect that includes not being mocked, stolen from or degraded to fashion.
Based on my unease, I know that Friend 2's love of Native American culture and her love of head-dresses is borderline for me.
Here's what triggered some of these thoughts and this post:
This weekend on tumblr I saw the promo pics for the Black Panther characters and I felt the same unease, or rather a similar unease.
Wakanda is a fictional african state so there is no appropriation, yet as an African I recognised the cultural references in many of the outfits. Its very difficult to create a fictional culture without referencing real cultures, and African cultures interact, overlap and share common roots so its not impossible for Wakanda to share those roots.
So I pondered on my unease and why I felt it.
The promo pics are beautiful. The costumes incredible. Perhaps my unease comes from the lack of unity in the costumes, in that it references multiple, varied African cultures. Perhaps I'm just being silly.
Alas, I don't think writing this down has helped solidify any actual resolution, other than the realisation that you really need to think about what you chose to put out there on social media. Not just from a 'don't offend people or hide behind the keyboard to be hater/troll' but from a 'am I being sensitive to how this will be perceived.'
Or perhaps that is being overly critical and analytical and I'm too full of cold medicine (hehe)
In other news, my tumblr page is full of female doctors. Hurrah!
in other other news, I think I'm getting a cold. Poo.
no subject
Date: 2017-07-18 05:20 pm (UTC)On a fairly regular basis, I wish English was a tad more Germanic in a 'has specific words for varying categories of the same object'.
OMG. This. So, so, so, so much from someone for whom English is the second and German the first language. I sometimes despair with this so much. And, you mentioned the perfect example - friend. We have so many words to describe exactly what you've meant and in English I'm stuck with "friend". *argh* ;)
no subject
Date: 2017-07-19 04:03 am (UTC)That is so cool and I knew it!! Please, please tell me ALL the words you have for friend so that I can categorise ALL my friends and be specific!
hurrah!!!